I was recently told that I am good at reflection. Although I don't see this as one of my strong traits, I do think about all the "could haves" after the fact. I could have done it this way, or I could have said this. I know I am a person who lets her heart lead. I know that this makes me react first then think later. Often times, this reaction is emotional. It is not difficult to figure out that this year has been rather trying and full of trials at work for me. I have had to face some tough criticisms and deal with other challenges. I let my emotions lead me through these difficult days. I know that I do. I don't like conflict. I try to avoid it, yet this year, I find myself right in the middle of it and I can't deal with it in a rational, calm way...until after the storm is over. I am learning, however, that God's word can help me with all aspects of my life.
I have started to pray for God's guidance before I plan my lessons. I praise Him for my job, my family, my friends and His love for me.
Today's lesson was something I knew. I know that I should not think some of the thoughts. But Like Beth Moore said, "Dirt is dirt." We need to clean the dirt from our minds. I think that the dirt gets deep when we are put in situations with those we find less than favorable or when we are faced with temptations.
I know that when my baby sister called me the other day and told me she was dating a much older man, I wanted to give her a piece of my mind and tell her what I thought. But, I found myself telling her that I was not going to make any judgements and that I was happy for her. And I am. She deserves someone to treat her and her kids nicely. I am trying desperately not to let my thoughts about the situation get carried away. I think that when we do this, we let the dirt get thick. I am trying to clean up the dirt. I don't want add more!
I have really been trying to apply the lessons of each day to my life. I can feel the changes, but I know that I still have a long way to go. I know that I will stumble along the way. I will sin again. But words cannot describe how thankful I am that I have let a loving, forgiving God into my life. Without Him, I know that I would be nothing.