Wearing our Transgressions

It was like yesterday, yet so long ago that my heart was crying out so loud for the Lord's saving grace to come in to my heart. It is funny because I think that everyone I know can give you the exact date that they came to know the Lord. I can honestly say that I did not remember that detail. I can remember it was a sunny Sunday morning. I had not been attending church for very long, I a newlywed and mother of a beautiful baby boy. I was sitting with my husband in the same pew I sit in every morning. The sermon had just been concluded and the invitation was given. I stayed in my spot. Leslie was leading the invitation song on her keyboard, but what song, I can't remember. As I stayed there, I looked over where the pianist would have been playing. There above this place, was the most brilliant white light. I just remember that when I saw it that I felt at peace. I knew that I was going to be okay. At the time, I had no idea what was happening. The only person that had ever shared the Lord's plan with me was my husband. Then, after the invitation ended, a church member asked to speak to the congregation about something in which they needed prayer about. This subject upset me, greatly. Here I knew that something wonderful had happened, yet words and a situation in another persons' life caused me confusion and trouble in my heart because this subject was very sensitive to me. (What this is all about, I'll share some other time.) But, I was filled with so many emotions at that point that I couldn't explain anything. I think that my husband had sensed that something had happened that morning, but he didn't say anything. I think he knew. We went to his mother's house for lunch after church and I remember sitting in the car while he took the baby in. And I just sat there for about two hours. Thinking. Crying. I finally went inside and ate a little, but no one said anything.

Years went by. I still was trying to figure out the whole situation. Finally, just before the birth of my second child, I finally figured what had happened that morning. I had asked the Lord Jesus to come into my life and save my poor wretched soul. I just didn't know that I had done this. My heart cried out because it knew what my mind couldn't understand. Oh, how thankful I am for this.

God is so unbelievably amazing to me. I can't begin to describe it right now, but He is something I will never be able to wrap my simple mind around. And I'm perfectly fine with that.